The average-minded thinker deeply desires to be liked and is intrinsically motivated by that need. Such thinkers walk into the room with the aspiration of being liked, as that is what they seek first, which is why they unconsciously do the things that will increase their odds of being liked and refrain from doing things that could hinder their likability. Unfortunately, this fear-based mindset keeps them from ever reaching their potential.

The deeply rooted belief that they need to be liked limits the average-minded individual. While they tell themselves they are effective, they are only effective to the degree of feeling liked. When an individual with an average mindset feels disliked by someone, their ability to perform effectively is greatly diminished. This immediately causes them to take the defense or become self-absorbed, focusing on how they are coming off to another. Ultimately, the average-minded individual is in bondage to the fear of man, where they unconsciously see the human in front of them as their god, desperately needing their approval and to affirm their worth.

The manifestation of this fear of man causes the individual to be like a chameleon, changing their colors to fit in with the flock in front of them. Their need to be liked and accepted by the herd is more important than being effective or completing the task for which they are responsible. Therefore, they are limited in their effectiveness as they give the keys to their mental castle to the person in front of them.

A world-class thinker has moved beyond wanting to be liked by others, instead focusing on being effective. While they prefer to approach tasks in an agreeable and friendly manner, they are not threatened or negatively influenced when it appears impossible. The goal of a world-class thinker is to be effective, not necessarily to be liked by everyone. They understand and accept that not everyone will like them, just as they will not like everyone, and sometimes that reality is professionally irrelevant. Being liked or not liked is ultimately irrelevant if one is ineffective in their tasks – professionally speaking. A true champion prioritizes effectiveness over likability.

World-class thinkers understand that they cannot simultaneously focus on being effective and liked by the person in front of them. Science has proven that humans cannot think about two things at once. Additionally, the champion understands that this double-minded focus yields no fruit. The champion becomes single-minded about being effective, even if that means ruffling feathers. While an atmosphere of hostility is not their approach or hope, they are comfortable and accept that being less agreeable sometimes will be necessary to accomplish their goal.

With laser focus, the champion has decided that they will be effective over likable. The average-minded person needs to be accepted to be effective, resulting in being ineffective. The champion operates from a mindset of emotional maturity and wisdom. The average-minded individual is a fool.

The journey from being average-minded to becoming a world-class thinker involves a fundamental shift from prioritizing likability to emphasizing effectiveness. This shift liberates individuals from the constraints of seeking approval and allows them to focus on achieving tangible results. While the average-minded person may find themselves trapped in the cycle of seeking acceptance to be effective, the champion recognizes that effectiveness requires unwavering commitment and dedication, even if occasionally unsettling others. By embracing this mindset, individuals can transcend the need for external validation and unlock their full potential as agents of change and progress. Ultimately, the choice between being liked and being effective is clear: effectiveness prevails as the hallmark of true greatness.

I have realized that I only have one life to live, so I have decided to be effective in everything I do. If this upsets anyone, I will communicate and negotiate with them in a professional and emotionally mature way. However, I refuse to limit my potential or stop myself from achieving my goals due to the thinking trap of mind reading or fearing another person. I live by a certain set of morals that intentionally avoid harming others, but I will not allow myself to be treated as a doormat or live in fear of what another person might do to me.

Action Plan:

1. Where have you limited yourself because you desired to be liked more than being effective?
2. How do you interpret not being liked and what physical manifestations does it have on your body?
3. When you feel the inclination to prioritize being liked over being effective, how can you motivate yourself to stay focused on your intended goals?