“Hater’s will be haters.” Taylor Swift nailed it in her song, “Haters gonna hate.” Accept the simplicity of that previous statement. Do not allow a “hater” to have any more ammunition than the person already believes he/she may possess. Easier said than done, yes I know. Sometimes it will seem like the whole world is out to get you. Even if what feels like the “whole world” is a single or few bullies. Try to remember that it’s not the entire world; it’s only an individual or a few people who I would suspect are not happy with themselves. Below, I have a few questions to help you maintain an objective, tough-minded, and positive way of thinking when a bully tries to bring you down.
The reason I challenge the hater’s happiness is that happy people do not tear down others, but build people up. Genuinely secure people want to spread unconditional love. We all have our insecurities to some degree, but people who are confident, happy, and content with their selves are positive and encouraging. The bottom line is positive people are not going to be pessimistic to other souls. Instead, they will practice mindfulness, compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness.
Unhappy people seem to target those who are the happiest. Remember, misery loves company. Sometimes a miserable person, unconsciously, may desire to bring a cheerful person down to their level. It is the child-like mentality of not liking what another person has.
There will always be the types of people who try to bully you, rip you apart, or bring you down. It can be frustrating and hurtful. It might even cause you to feel slightly insecure about yourself, or maybe, you begin second-guessing yourself and your capabilities.
Please do not let the insecurities of an individual cause you to doubt, second-guess, or feel unsure about the person or career you are trying to achieve. I’m here to say; YOU GOT THIS! Keep going.
I know it’s hard, but if you can find growth from the people who mostly are, taking their unhappiness out on you, you will come out of it a better and tougher person. Every occurrence, whether it be good or bad, contains a lesson. Try to find the lesson in every situation. Maybe you need to get better at shaking off the harsh words of naysayers or perhaps learning how to put on your suit of armor, forcing the potentially wounding words to ricochet from your protective covering. Whatever area you need to improve, I believe you can improve. The first thing you have to do is BELIEVE you are enhancing and start seeing yourself successful in that area. Lastly, speak words of faith and encouragement over yourself. Do not use any deficiency language.
Whatever the lesson is, master it as best you can. Then, keep reminding yourself of the previously taught lesson if a similar situation is to rise again. By doing so, you will be maturing, knowing another person’s words cannot destroy you. Remember, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Spoken words will only hurt you if you give those words value and come into agreement with them. Remember, you will not master it right away, and that’s okay. Just keep trying, keep reminding yourself of the truth in haters will hate, and do not allow their words to penetrate your thoughts unjustly.
My last bit of encouragement is this:
Are you going to allow another human being to define your worth when God says you are incredibly worthy?
Questions to help you maintain a focused, positive, and tough mentality:
- I want you to ask yourself, is what the person is saying true? Now, it’s essential you honestly and carefully analyze the situation of your actions to identify if you did act unwisely. If there is not even the slightest amount of truth in what they are saying, then move forward in your life. Dust off the harsh words spoken about you, by breaking the agreement and reminding yourself of the truth. Remember, if it is not valid, the person declaring it was true does not mean it was true. Walk away and move forward in your life. A lie has short legs.
- If it is accurate, and you need to apologize or make amends, humble yourself, and do that. If you have made a mistake, understand you are human. Next, assemble the courage inside of you to admit to your mistake. Take responsibility. It might sound scary, but people will rally around you and support you for doing this.
- Who said it? Is the person who is accusing or bullying you of any importance in your world? What I am asking here is whether their opinion is significant to you, or do you want everyone to like you? Is the individual an honest critic, a loving friend, or a family member, or is it just some critic or acquaintance? If the individual has no importance in your life, then politely and kindly write him off and move forward.
- What is causing you to be so affected by the criticism? What is making you respond with your emotions? These questions are especially attractive if the individual is of no significance to your life. We cannot have everyone like us. You have limited bandwidth, so how can you refrain from getting personally invested in someone’s opinion about you that is, to put bluntly, not worth your time?