Mindsets can be easy to develop. Sometimes we fall into a mindset, unaware we are participating with such beliefs. We can break mindsets down into two binary avenues. Either your beliefs mirror that of a victim or VICTOR! It is similar to the words we speak. We are either speaking life or death. The same binary application is applied to how intentional we are about living. For example, Tony Robbins is famous for saying, “You are either living or dying.” I would have to agree. There are very few black-and-white life notions, but there are some.
But, please do not fool yourself. Very few people find themselves in a VICTOR mindset. Sadly, many people find themselves in a victim mindset, consumed with negative thinking, toxic thinking, hopelessness, or pessimism. There are many reasons why a person develops such a destructive mindset. Sometimes it is due to how they were raised. Maybe their parents had a lack or poverty mindset. Other times, it is due to what they experienced as a child. While other times it has nothing to do with exposure to trauma, abuse, parental influence, it just happens because of what they expose themselves too. Developing a VICTOR mindset takes work. One must desire to live this way for it to happen.
Let me ask you, DO YOU HAVE A VICTOR MINDSET?
I had a victim mindset. It was a mindset I too fell into. Like some of you, I was young. Too young to have life figured out when mine began to develop. You see, there were very few elements about my childhood that were “easy” or even “normal.” Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological) were my norm by the age of 9-years old. I thought I was a worthless piece of crap, and the external stimuli I received each day from my school and those closest to me confirmed this belief. To add to the pain I endured each day, death, too, was a regular part of my life. From age 7-11, it felt like I was going to funerals of loved ones every month. I had gone through tremendous adversity, and I was not even an adolescent yet. Sadly, this was just the beginning. Each year, my life grew harder from the external cruelty I faced, as well as the inner self-hatred. By the time I was 16-years old, I was dying from an eating disorder.
It was October 26th, 2005. I remember sitting on the guest bed downstairs, getting ready to go to bed. I was too weak to climb stairs, and as I sat on the guest bed, I remember distinctly thinking, “I am going to die tonight, and I am okay with that.” Moments later, my mother came downstairs and told me the ER was waiting for my arrival. I asked, “Why?” She said, “your pediatrician called. I have to take you to the hospital because your potassium level is one. You won’t be alive tomorrow morning!” I reluctantly went to the ER, where doctors were amazed I could walk and talk with ease. For those of you who are unaware, when your potassium level drops to one, your heart can flat line.
Please understand, my comprehension of myself was that I was stupid, fat, and ugly, and my worth was only to make men sexually happy. Every day for more than seven years, I was told I was fat, stupid, and ugly in great detail multiple times a day. I was so tired of the abuse I faced every day. I could not escape the trauma because it was where I lived. I was trapped, with no way out. The people in my house at the time were very toxic, cruel, and mean. When I was not getting abused, I was hyper-vigilant, waiting to take cover and hide at the drop of a dime. From around 8-years old until about 13, I spent a significant amount of time in my closet hiding or doing homework in our small downstairs bathroom because those were the only places in my house where I felt safe. The rest of the time, I was exposed and on high alert.
The abuse and violence I faced went all the way until I was about 24-years of age when I finally punched my primary abuser in their face. You see, for most of my 20s, I was in and out of therapy working hard to overcome my victim mentality, but nothing was working for me. Every therapy technique I received only helped but so far before hitting another wall.
It was not until 25 when I grew stronger in the Lord and decided to take matters into my own hands as I allowed God to guide me. God directed me to attend graduate school, where I earned my MS in Positive Psychology. I went for myself. The reason for my attendance was not to work in this field, even though I am now, but to finally figure out how to overcome and permanently end the mental torture I was facing every day. Guess what? I did it! I overcame the victim mindset, and now I live as the VICTOR God created me to be! And you can too!
As I was transforming my inner self into the beliefs of a VICTOR, I wondered why there were not any step-by-step programs to help someone change their thinking. I am aware of the books out there, but what about a program that walks with you and provides the opportunity to do deep explorative work to repair all the necessary areas to revolutionize one’s thinking. I was looking for a coaching program that offered such intrapersonal work. I wanted to gain an understanding of why I adopted a victim mentality and a step-by-step approach to how I could fully overcome such defeating ways. I searched for a program focusing on how to transform negative thinking infused with toxic thinking, pessimism, and hopelessness to thinking positively, with endless hope and strong faith. Still, it had to be applicable, not theory. I found a few programs, but they only hit the surface. I wanted a deep understanding and profound transformation, which is why I created THE VICTOR TRANSFORMATION PROGRAM.
VICTORS have sharp clarity, impeccable focus, understand their emotions, know their self-worth, communicate effectively, operate out of love, trust as opposed to worrying, have increase emotional intelligence. Most importantly, they trust the Divine and control their mind and body, instead of their mind controlling them.
The best way to shed light on a VICTORS lifestyle is to contrast it against a victim’s way of being. The list is a limited appetizer to paint the picture; there are more signs of how a victim and VICTOR live. If the left-hand column resonates with you, then THE VICTOR TRANSFORMATION PROGRAM is for you!
If I can transform my thinking from victim to VICTOR then I know you can too. I believe that wholeheartedly. Many of you are unsure of who you are or even how to live as your Authentic Self, and before you even can live as your Authentic Self, we have to begin cleaning up and recalibrating our inner world.
THE VICTOR TRANSFORMATION takes you step-by-step to revolutionize one’s victim thinking into a VICTOR mindset. When you live knowing you are VICTOR, the amount of peace I hold in my heart is transcendent. I used to worry all the time, but now I rarely worry or have an issue with life. When worry tries to come into my mind, it is fleeting, where before it consumed me. I am content and grateful for where I am in life. And I am so hopeful about my future! I know my dreams are coming to me, and I know even more amazing things are just around the corner. For the first time in my life, the amount of energy, focus, dedication, love, joy, and positivity I have inside of me overflows and oozes out of my pores.
Are you ready to be a VICTOR?